call me when they bury bodies underwater

[potentialman]

who: Megumi and whoever. Maybe you??
what: Canon updating.
when: Immediately after the December event/TDM, over the first few days of January.
where: Dreamscape + Columbia University dorms.
warnings: Gore, drowning, and suicidal ideation. Spoilers through the end of the Jujutsu Kaisen manga, also.




Part of Megumi's canon update is leaking into the dreamscape in Sleephattan, so characters may find themselves dreaming a nightmare that doesn't belong to them, for the first few days of January.

The bath is a room in the Zenin compound (think rich as balls traditional Japanese estate, although this particular room is kind of nasty) that's been filled with the blood and viscera of a large number of cursed spirits. Cursed spirits are formed when high concentrations of negative human emotion coalesce together, so it not only looks disgusting — it feels disgusting, because it's like taking a soak in every nasty thing humans are capable of feeling.

For Megumi, who gets dunked once he's been possessed by the King of Curses, it's enough to force his soul into a catatonic state, but since his circumstance is pretty specific, and canon is pretty vague, it might affect other characters very differently. Do what you want, I'm not the boss of you. This is basically just open if anybody wants to take advantage of it to aggravate their character's own trauma...or, like, have a pool party in a literal bloodbath, if they're too evil to be fazed.

I'm containing Megumi's own stuff in top level comments. If you want to go forth and do horrible things, you're welcome to start your own threads and mingle.

Comments

[potentialman]

[ If Megumi is learning one thing from the Culling Game, it's that no matter how bad things seem, there's always still room for them to get that much worse.

Shibuya erased from the map, Tokyo becoming a war zone, and Tsumiki awakening only to be forced into a death game is bad. Tsumiki not really being Tsumiki is worse. Ryomen Sukuna taking over Yuji's body again barely gets a brief well, what else can possibly go wrong somewhere in the back of his head as he's already starting the incantation, Mahoraga stirring —

— and then Sukuna is forcing a finger down his throat and Mahoraga stills as Megumi is abruptly shoved into the backseat of his own body, and all he can do is throw every fiber of his soul into throttling back his body's cursed energy output, even if he can't control what Sukuna is using it for.

This must be what it feels like to hit rock bottom, right?

All it takes to disavow him of that notion is one toe in the bath.

He's barely a step into whatever hellish concoction of blood and viscera Uraume has put together before the spiritual pressure is overwhelming, four arms wrestling him into the pool, shoving his head under the surface and holding him there.

Sukuna and Megumi entered that pool and submerged, but only Sukuna breaks the surface and emerges.

As Sukuna's soul rises with his (their, now?) body, Megumi's sinks.

The breath he's been fighting to hold finally escapes him, his lungs filling with water (no, blood), except it's not liquid, it's malice and it's despair and it's hatred and it's every shitty, petty, horrible piece of humanity that ever crystallized into a cursed spirit and wrecked havoc, eating him alive from the inside out. The fight goes out of him.

The pit he's sinking through goes on far, far deeper than the physical room. There's no light, no sound, only darkness so deep that even the Ten Shadows feel bright in comparison.

He's not sure how much time passes there. He's not sure he cares. The brief flashes of awareness Sukuna allows to reach him are still worse than being alone in that void (Tsumiki's body, bloodied and broken; Gojo cleanly bisected at the torso, killed so suddenly his bottom half is still standing).

There's nothing left for him. Nothing but pain and misery and the knowledge that everything he cares about is being destroyed with his own hands and his own power. There's —

It'll be so lonely without you.

— still one person he

(loves?) ]

[sacral]

[ He doesn't mean to go after him, the secret gift of his family's name not given to him here. But a fitful sleep chooses to mirror it, regardless.

It's not his first time being submerged in the dreamscape of another's making. It's not the first time he's had to bear witness to something that is happening and yet also isn't in this captive city, knowledge flayed by intrusion flayed by the malignant force dwelling in the hearts of humans. In the end, everything becomes a wave. In the end, they are all swallowed whole. But Subaru knows this is not the fate of his heart, even as the depth of the mire burgeons black around him.

Familiar voices reverberate in the bloodbath.

"He isn't feigning kindness. He really is that way. ...He's probably seen the ugly side of humanity plenty of times... yet he can never get used to it. He carries those emotions with him always, unable to let go. His feelings are pure white."

A beacon, a glaring, a thumping that refuses to tire and chooses humanity every time, even as the coagulation of its every sin slips over him, staining, dragging...

...loves...

He finds him, even here. Subaru's hand shoots out in the viscera, latching into Fushiguro Megumi and that single thread still left in this place. ]

Who is it?

[potentialman]

[ There's no sign that Megumi has noticed or felt Subaru reaching out, but the response comes from somewhere deeper than consciousness. So many of his memories are tainted with loss now. Tsumiki's smile, Gojo ruffling his hair, the first time he focused and touched his power in just the right way and a big fluffy white dog appeared and licked his face.

Wandering around Shibuya with Yuji and Nobara and a cheap disposable camera (to which he'd raised an eyebrow when Gojo pushed it into his hands, saying "come on, you're not that old?"), taking pictures and bickering over where to stop for food and how much time they'd spent at Shibuya 109 (far too long, according to him, not long enough, according to Nobara) and Yoyogi Park (not long enough, according to him, far too long, according to Nobara).

Even that memory is darkened around the edges, now, by the knowledge of places that no longer exist and the pain of Nobara's loss in the Shibuya incident. Only one thing stays bright and untarnished.

Yuji's laugh, Yuji grabbing him by the elbow.

That calm smile Yuji always broke out when Megumi was telling him not to do something reckless. It's okay.

It'll be so lonely without you. ]

[sacral]

[ Even the vast purifying light of his heart can't penetrate this darkness. Not wholly; he's just one person among this uneasy flow of memories, more like an undertow than a caress. Memories... pleasant memories, good memories full of life and the light of love — they can become the light that draws someone ashore only to dash them on the rocks of reality. His sister's voice, someone's hands rifling his hair, the loyalty of a dog...

Subaru would know.

So he doesn't draw his awareness over the memories tinted in all the shadows of sorrow. Only the memory of Itadori Yuji remains.

A knowing permeates the heat of the liquid, softer, calmer.

Subaru has met him in the depths, too. ]

You have your answer, Megumi.

[ He speaks it, even if he can't find him. ]

[potentialman]

[ He's had his answer for a long time, even if he didn't realize it yet.

And that Subaru only turns his attention in the right direction and stands back, leaves him to take that first step himself --

(exactly what Yuji did, even if it took a second try for him to do it)

-- Megumi's spent his entire life being told what people want from him. Even when Gojo asked him if he wanted to go with the Zenin, it was just choosing which road led him to the same place, really; let his relations (he could never think of them as his family) groom him to become a sorcerer, or let Jujutsu High do the same thing.

But when Yuji looks at him, at the bottom of despair, and tells him that it's going to hurt so much to let him go, but he will, if that's truly what Megumi wants...

And when Subaru comes and leaves him with that same choice...

Something in him finally stirs, because he doesn't know what else he wants from his pathetic excuse for a life, but he doesn't want to leave the people he loves feeling sad. ]

[sacral]

[ In this pool, Subaru is closer to every heartache, injustice, and failure that Megumi has experienced than if he were to simply tell him himself. It surges, flows, subsumes — a backwards retelling of karmic deeds. Subaru could think it's ill-begotten, but choice is rarely so free a thing for those like them. So he accepts it for what it is, the suffocating tang of violence made corporeal in his mouth and his spirit.

To exist solely on one's own merit is a privilege among those with blood blessed by power. To choose, or to rebel against fate. He doesn't pretend it's honorable or even right. But Megumi's lineage cannot be taken back, only routed forward, possessed of some goal his heart won't relinquish. No matter the cost.

He has to decide what to do with it, whether in selfishness or in sacrifice.

Sometimes... the two aren't as dissimilar as it'd seem. ]

That's right. [ He wills his pulse into a tangible thing that can be followed through their tether, even here. ] You can't abandon him, can you?

[ A sentiment echoed. ]

Because he taught you what it was like to not be lonely.

[potentialman]

[ His progress is slow, a gentle drift, but unquestionably moving towards the steady presence of Subaru.

If it were simply his own loneliness in question, that would be one thing. Not great, but something he could accept, even after everything. Because he's used to it, because he's always treated his own life less as a gift and more as one more weapon to be wielded and broken as needed.

Because jujutsu sorcerers die alone.

Megumi can die alone. He's been waiting to do it for longer than he cares to consider. But all the things he'd suffer himself without a second thought, he can not -- will not -- put upon Yuji.

And as he chases that pulse, the darkness dims, and gives way to something he thought he'd never see again.

Light. ]

[potentialman]

[ His eyes snap open and he sucks in a sharp, panicked breath, blinking in the light (that feels blinding even though it's not even that bright, by any normal standard). The ceiling is (still too damned bright) — a dorm he recognizes, but not the one at Jujutsu High.

Columbia. Manhattan. But if he's here again, then all of that —

Is Sleep just messing with him?

He tries to push himself up to sit, but his elbows buckle and he only makes it halfway before dropping back to the mattress with a thump. How long was he out for? It felt like there were weeks in there even before Sukuna, and then he lost track, but —

One hand goes to his face, to push his hair away from his eyes, but he stops dead and his blood runs cold when his fingers meet rough, scarred skin. Scarred where his flesh split to make way for Sukuna's eyes.

That happened.

That happened, and everything it entails.

Megumi rolls onto his side, curling into a ball as a small choked noise escapes him. Everything that happened. Everyone who died.

Staying dead to the world would've been easier. ]

[sorte]

[ Aventurine had caught glimpses of the nightmare, maybe even experienced some of it, but even acknowledging such a thing to himself rolls off his shoulders like rain on rubber.

Instead, he's ever silent, having been hovering around Columbia the past day or two, always careful to avoid anyone else that might be concerned and checking themselves including any of his roommates.

He knocks gently on the door, but he's become used to no answer, so he's already looking in to see if the teenager is awake (although he's come to expect he very well may not.) He does notice Megumi has moved since he last saw him, though, and so he'll approach the bed, voice hushed as if afraid it might break something by being too loud. ]

Finally awake...?

[potentialman]

[ It's a bit tempting to play dead.

Still, on the grand scale of people who would be really awkward to face right now, Aventurine is pretty low. The man might be able to give Gojo a run for his money in being insouciently infuriating, but he doesn't pry. He's seen some of the shittier parts of Megumi's past without making the moment any worse than it needs to be.

So Megumi rolls onto his back, and then -- slowly, carefully -- levers himself into a sitting position. ]

...yeah. I know I picked a great time for it.

[ Well. That was entirely Sleep's fault; if the timing was dealer's choice, Megumi's just another poor mark at the table waiting to get screwed over. ]

[sorte]

Sleep is a bitchy, clingy and demanding woman, what can you do, really? I'm just glad you're awake.

[ it's embarrassing if Aventurine thinks about how relieved he feels that not only can Megumi talk but that he's at least well enough to have a comment with some level of sarcasm; so Aventurine simply won't think at all. His shoulders slump some as he relaxes, rolling them lightly to hide it as he comes to stand near the bed. Honestly, there's something about his presence that feels less heavy than it did a moment ago, too, even though it wasn't really what could be considered heavy prior. he's just so relieved wow

He motions towards Megumi's face asking in a gentle casualness: ]

That hurting or anything?

[ there's no hint that Aventurine is taking too much notice of the very obvious new scars, that he has an opinion or emotion to share about them. He just is, simply goes with the flow of the situation and he knows so well what even concerned staring or emotional awkwardness on his own part could do to Megumi despite no poor intentions. Sometimes, it really is for the best to check your emotions (or most of them, at least) at the door because it's the kinder thing to do.

Still, if they're painful, he's like to help if he can. ]

You've missed a little bit of an interesting situation developing but none of the action yet. You've been out for a few days, though, so you definitely need to start playing 'catch-up' by doing the basics first.

[ which, Aventurine picks up a glass of water he left on the small table in the room and offers it out to Megumi. ]

[potentialman]

It doesn't hurt.

[ Not physically, at least. But it's definitely going to be a stab in the feelings every time he looks in the mirror for a while. (First August, now this. How many ways can mirrors be utterly ruined for him?)

He takes the glass of water and stares at it for a long moment, almost as if he's forgotten what he's supposed to do with it. ]

What's been happening?

[sorte]

Good.

[ Aventurine will make a slight motion of holding an imaginary cup or can up to drink from if Megumi needs reminding—subtle enough to not be exaggerated but... actually not very subtle at all. ]

So, all the newly arrived are trapped really far underground somehow, and the hosts won't let anyone into the tunnels.

[potentialman]

[ A bit sheepishly, Megumi takes a sip --

-- and promptly chokes on it at the rest of that statement, coughing a couple of times before he gets himself together and looks at Aventurine in alarm. ]

They've been trapped there for days?

[commitments]

[ It didn't seem like waking up from a dream gave them enough reprieve. Much is happening, but Adolphe was already assessing if the dorms would be a good place to have one base among his many. It's why he's here.

It doesn't explain why he's in the room, seated on a chair he pulled up and paring knife in hand to peel this weird fruit in the other. No one caught him here. No one saw he was here. No one would have known he caught some of Megumi's nightmare. He could have slipped away without a word and not need to shoulder burden, but he's here... Because it wouldn't sit right for him to leave after seeing a piece.

Megumi can stay dead to the world if he wants. Adolphe doesn't say anything, though he turns his head when he sees that Megumi is finally awake. Even when he struggles, he doesn't say anything. It's only when he has peeled two fruit does he finally speak up. ]

You probably don't have the stomach for it, but remember to eat.

[ Adolphe's mare can be seen waiting outside in the hallway past the slightly cracked door and nervously neighs after a whiff of Megumi's nightmare. It takes Adolphe's attention momentarily, voice becoming softer and gentle as he talks to this horrific horse: ]

... You probably understand more than I do, don't you? You're from a dream. It'll be okay. Don't be nervous.

[potentialman]

[ That catches him off-guard.

But it's a relief to just...hear another voice, after so long with nothing but an empty void and no way to tell how much time was actually passing. He flips onto his back, blinking. Even the moderate amount of light that gets in through the windows is overwhelming.

Eat.

He should, but the last thing he remembers eating would be enough to put anyone off the idea for a while. ]

I..I'll try.

[ Eventually, anyway. ]

[commitments]

I'd make you a stew, but...

[ It would be from a can and he'd need to step outside to make a fire, which he thinks he can't go immediately yet.

He cuts the weird fruit into pieces, for easier eating, not that he expects Megumi to have any now. ]

Water?

[potentialman]

It's fine. I...don't know if I can stomach anything, yet.

[ The idea of finding his appetite feels almost laughable, after everything else. Drown in an ocean of torment, kill the people you love, wake up and have a spot of tea. Sure. ]

[commitments]

[ He fishes a water bottle from his bag, anyway. It gets placed on the table for whenever the feeling of water in the mouth and down the pipe doesn't feel suffocating. ]

... After that, it's to be expected. Take your time.

[vixenish]

[ sleep in the tunnels is fleeting and uncomfortable, especially when she lends out her respirator to the others. the spores are thick, if not yet oppressive, and when even breathing is uncomfortable...

still, it finds her, as sleep always will in Manhattan.

what she dreams of, however, is not what she expects.

a bath. blood. viscera. nightmares.

endless darkness is no stranger. the very depths of humanity's depravity should be well known to her. death, dying, suffocating, brutality, bleeding, pain—

—it would all be so familiar if it weren't concentrated to so fine a point.

she wakes once with a horrible shuddering gasp and knows herself not to truly be awake when she takes in the darkness, still,

and a presence beside her.

one she reaches for, without thinking, her heart fluttering fast as a frightened bird. ]

Megumi, [ she whispers, not knowing why she knows it's him.

the logic of dreams and nightmares is never constant. ]

[potentialman]

[ He's not quite awake yet, but Yuji's words were enough to rouse the part of him that was retreating into himself, waiting and hoping to die.

And as Megumi's soul finally stirs, reaches to take that first agonizing movement towards clawing himself out of the darkness, he knows instinctively that he's no longer alone down here. ]

Lor...tel?

[vixenish]

What on earth, [ she whispers, but doesn't hesitate.

she takes his hand. after all, he took hers. ]

Can you move? Where—is this a dream?

[potentialman]

Yes. And no.

[ He doesn't move yet, still curled up in the fetal position he's been in for...how long, now? Like if he made himself small enough, he could force himself to disappear.

But her hand is more warmth than he's felt since he realized Tsumiki wasn't Tsumiki, and that's something. A lifeline. ]

Yuji...remembered things that didn't happen for me yet. I think...I get why he didn't want to say anything. [ What a fucking trainwreck. To have that on his mind every time he looked Megumi's way... ]

I need to wake up. I...stopped trying, for --

[ Time has felt like everything and nothing. It had been November 15th when things went to shit, he knows that. He'd been keeping obsessive track of the date, knowing he only had until the 19th before Tsumiki had to enter the Culling Game.

But everything after Sukuna took over his body is a dark blur, only a couple of (horrible) moments coming into sharp focus. After a moment, he stops trying to quantify it. ]

...for a while. I don't know how long it's been.

[vixenish]

[ her heart aches. she's never seen him like this before. so ...

broken. defeated. ]

It's hard to imagine you giving up on anything, [ Lortel comments, softly, curling her hand more surely through his. ]

... I only felt it for a moment ... the—the blood, [ she stutters, unlike her, at a loss largely for how to describe that horror. ] I...

[ ...

Lortel shifts closer to him. it's dark, still. she feels sticky with blood that isn't hers.

even so, her free hand reaches blindly and eventually finds his jaw, fingers blindly brushing skin. ]

I won't let you stay here, Megumi.

[potentialman]

I killed her.

[ The answer to a question she didn't ask. Before, he'd had a rock solid motivation to keep going, keep fighting. He had to make it back for Tsumiki. He couldn't let it end before he figured out how to free her from the grip of whatever curse had dragged her under.

And then this. ]

Sukuna was in control, but -- it was my hands. My shikigami. [ A calculated move, intended to sink Megumi that much further. And an effective one. ]